The in Between Mom

Last week, I wrote about the hard nights.

The nights when Greyson comes home from school and it feels like he’s given everything he has just to make it through the day. The nights filled with big emotions, endless energy, frustration, and sometimes tears from both of us.

But this week, I want to talk about something different.

The little victories.

Because in between the hard mornings, the appointments, the school meetings, the medication changes, and the moments when I question whether I’m doing enough, there are these little glimpses of just how far my boy has come.

And sometimes they bring me to tears.

Not because they’re sad.

But because I know how hard he’s worked to get there.

A Little Boy, a Book, and a Momma in Tears

The other night, Greyson’s teacher sent home a little game to help him practice his words.

And you know what?

He was the one who asked me to play it.

I wasn’t feeling the greatest that evening. I’ve been dealing with my own health issues, and some days just getting through our normal routines takes more out of me than I’d like to admit.

So we climbed into my bed and played his game together.

And then something happened that I wasn’t expecting.

We grabbed one of his little truck books. A book we’ve had for years.

And Greyson started pointing to the words.

He began saying the letters out loud, one by one.

Nobody asked him to.

Nobody told him he had to practice reading.

He just wanted to.

He would point to a word, tell me the letters, and then look at me to help him figure out what it said.

And he kept doing it.

Page after page.

I just sat there watching him, trying not to cry.

Because what might look like a little boy pointing out letters in a book was so much more than that to me.

This is the same little boy who has struggled with blending sounds and putting words together. The same little boy who sometimes gets frustrated when something feels too hard.

And there he was, choosing to try.

All on his own.

I don’t think I’ll ever forget that moment.

I was so proud of him.

And I hope one day he understands why his momma was sitting there with tears in her eyes over a little truck book.

The Math Problem That Made Me Smile

Then there was another little victory.

Math.

Greyson has been working with a hundreds chart, and watching him figure things out has been so exciting.

He sat there and worked through his math using that chart.

All by himself.

And I know some people might think, Well, that’s what kids are supposed to do.

But when you have a child who has told you that his brain says he can’t do hard things, seeing him accomplish something independently means everything.

It’s not just about getting the answer right.

It’s about the confidence.

It’s about watching him realize that maybe he can do something he once thought he couldn’t.

I wish I could bottle up that feeling and give it back to him every single time he doubts himself.

Because I see what he’s capable of.

Even on the days he can’t see it himself.

Sometimes Being Brave Looks Like Showing Up

Recently, Greyson participated in a cheer clinic at Marcus High School.

Something that might sound simple to another family.

But for us, it was another big moment.

He was hesitant at first. He was shy and unsure.

And that’s okay.

New environments, unfamiliar people, loud noises, and big groups can be overwhelming for him.

But he did it.

He participated.

He stayed.

And he got to experience something new.

I watched him and felt that familiar feeling in my chest.

Pride.

Because being brave doesn’t always mean walking into something without being scared.

Sometimes being brave means being scared and trying anyway.

And that’s exactly what my boy did.

I’m so thankful for the people who made him feel included and welcomed. Those experiences matter more than people realize.

Every time someone makes room for Greyson to participate, they’re helping him see that he belongs.

Because he does.

He belongs just as much as every other child.

And Then There Are the Victories Nobody Sees

Not every victory happens at school.

Not every victory comes with a completed assignment, a good grade, or a picture I can share.

Sometimes it’s a peaceful bedtime.

Sometimes it’s listening the first time.

Sometimes it’s making it through an evening without a meltdown.

And sometimes it’s something as simple as giving Momma a hug.

One night this week, I wasn’t feeling well.

Usually, Greyson wants me for everything at bedtime. Daddy can help, but most nights, he still wants his momma.

And that night, he surprised me.

He was so good.

He listened. He let Daddy help. And he kept coming over to give me hugs.

Those little hugs meant more than he could possibly understand.

Because even on the days when I feel like I’m running on empty, there he is reminding me of the sweet little boy behind all those big emotions.

The boy who loves his momma.

The boy who notices more than we sometimes realize.

The boy who has such a big heart.

I was so proud of him that night.

And I made sure he knew it.

We’re Still Working on the Hard Things

I don’t want this post to make it sound like everything has suddenly become easy.

Because it hasn’t.

We still have mornings when getting dressed or putting on shoes turns into a struggle.

We still have days when listening is hard.

We still have moments when he gets overwhelmed, frustrated, or upset because something doesn’t go the way he expected.

We’re working on independence.

We’re working on boundaries.

We’re working on helping him understand that he can do things on his own, even when he’d rather have Momma do them.

And some days, that comes with tears.

From him and sometimes from me.

But I’m learning that I can’t measure his progress by one difficult morning or one hard evening.

I have to look at the bigger picture.

And when I do, I see a little boy who is growing.

A little boy who is learning.

A little boy who is trying.

Even when it doesn’t look the way I expected.

I Wish People Knew What These Moments Mean

Before autism and ADHD became part of our everyday lives, I don’t think I fully understood how emotional the smallest milestones could be.

I never imagined I’d cry because my child voluntarily picked up a book and started naming letters.

Or feel so proud watching him use a hundreds chart.

Or get emotional because he participated in a cheer clinic.

Or lie in bed thinking about how much a few extra hugs meant to me.

But here we are.

And I wouldn’t trade those moments for anything.

Because I know the work behind them.

I know the tears.

I know the appointments, the conversations with teachers, the school meetings, and the constant wondering if we’re doing the right things.

I know how many times we’ve had to remind Greyson that he can do hard things.

And I know how many times I’ve had to remind myself of that too.

To the Momma Celebrating Something Small

Maybe your child finally tried a new food.

Maybe they walked into school without crying.

Maybe they used their words instead of getting upset.

Maybe they made a friend.

Maybe they tried something new.

Or maybe you just had one peaceful evening together.

Whatever it was, I hope you celebrated it.

Because I know how much those moments can mean.

And I know sometimes it’s hard to explain that excitement to someone who hasn’t lived it.

You don’t have to explain it to me.

I get it.

Sometimes the smallest things are the biggest things.

The In Between Is Where So Much Growth Happens

Last week, I cried because things felt hard.

This week, I cried because my little boy picked up a book and wanted to read.

And honestly, that pretty much sums up this journey.

Some days I’m exhausted.

Some days I’m overwhelmed.

Some days I’m wondering if we’re making any progress at all.

And then Greyson does something that reminds me just how far we’ve come.

We’re not where we want to be yet.

There are still so many things we’re working through.

But we’re also not where we used to be.

And I think sometimes I need to remind myself of that.

Because while I’m busy worrying about the things he hasn’t mastered yet, he’s over here showing me all the things he’s learning to do.

One word.

One math problem.

One brave moment.

One hug.

One little victory at a time.

And if there’s one thing I want Greyson to know when he’s older, it’s this:

Momma noticed.

I noticed how hard you tried.

I noticed when you were scared but did it anyway.

I noticed when you kept going even though something was difficult.

And I noticed every little victory that the rest of the world might have missed.

Because to me, they were never little.

They were everything.

With love,

The In Between Mom 💙